" And God Said No"

Last night before bed Guy gave the spiritual thought for the day. I loved it and I thought I would share it. " I asked God to take away my pride, And God said, "No." He said it was not for him to take away, But for me to give up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole, And God said, " No." He said her spirit is whole, Her body is only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience, And God said,"No." He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation. It isn't granted, it's earned. I asked God to give me happiness, And God said, "No." He said he gives us blessings; Happiness is up to me. I asked God to spare me pain, And God said,"No." He said suffering draws you apart form worldly cares And brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow, And God said, " NO." He said I must grow on my own, But he will prune me to make me fruitful. I asked God if he loves me, And God said, "Yes." He gave me his only son who died for me, And I will be in Heaven some day because I believe. I asked God to help me love others As much as he loves me. And God said, " Ah, finally you have the idea." -author unknown. The last couple of days I have done a lot of reflecting on life. I was lead to a blog of a sweet mom whose baby drowned in the bathtub. As a mother we all get so distracted at times that I sat and wept as I read her blog. There are people from around the world praying for this sweet baby and his family. She has really made me realize how much I truly have to be grateful for, yet I don't recognize it like I should. Thursday was one of those days that I ended the day on my knees in tears asking my Heavenly Father for forgiveness. My patience were very thin that day! I found myself arguing with Sydnee about piano, math, vocabulary...fighting with Brynlee about whether or not she is going to continue dance and so forth. Everyone thought dinner was gross and no one could find clean underwear. You get the picture. Not the best day in the Crandall home. So Friday morning when the alarm went off I decided to let the kids sleep in and I would let them miss school. My sister was in town and we were meeting with all the kids for lunch so I knew they would enjoy that. We then spent the afternoon helping dad. The kids were all very helpful and it was a great day. I resolved right then and there that things needed to change in my home and I am the one that really needs to change. We never know what our trials in life are going to be, but I believe that how we come out of them is the true test. When your husband is a builder and you move 4 times in a short time period it becomes no secret to everyone around that things are not financially blissful. I look back 3 years ago and realize how much I took for granted. If there is one thing I have learned it is not to judge others. We really never know what goes on behind closed doors. Satan is so strong and he wants to destroy the family right now. We have had trials that are very public and trials that are very personal and it has taken many trips to the temple and countless hours on my knees to say that I am grateful for the last couple of years. They have been hard, but I have learned powerful life lessons. I have learned to forgive, I have been humbled, I have learned how to truly love someone even when its hard and most importantly, I have learned how to pray. Our family has been so blessed. And I wanted to journal this so we will can look back and remember. We are packing up and getting ready to move as we speak. I am almost giddy just talking about it. Years ago we built our first home. Guy did all the flooring, wood work, plumbing and anything he could trade himself. He had just graduated from college, we had 2 little kids and were so excited to be in that home. We loved that home! Things were simple back then and we thought we had life all figured out! Boy were we wrong! I kind of feel the way I did back then again. It did not look like it was in the cards for us to move into the new house. We kept getting one financial blow after another. We even sold the house ( we thought.) It is crazy to look back and see how our prayers have truly been answered. Guy has worked so hard hard to make the house feel like home for me. He has spent hours fixing it up and what he couldn't do himself he has found someone to trade with. I am so excited for my kids! They will be in a neighborhood filled with kids were they can ride their bikes to school and just be kids! And as for me, I resolve to crawl out of my hermit shell and be better! I wear my feelings on my sleeve so I just do my own thing for fear of having a breakdown. I need to give more service and be a better person. I need to forget me and learn to love others. So here is to 2010, I will make this a good year!